


Ace of spades

by LarryShippingSheerio



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ace of spades, Anniversary, Cancer, Death, Kids, Loss, Love, M/M, Marriage, The Future, Wedding, harry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis - Freeform, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 10:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarryShippingSheerio/pseuds/LarryShippingSheerio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Harry and Louis' 24th wedding anniversary, so Harry goes to the restaurant where they went on their first date, as he has every year for the last 17 years, to reminisce about the past and the present. It's the place he feels the most connected to his Husband since he passed away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ace of spades

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first One-Shot that I've posted on here and actually thought about for longer than 5 minutes. Hope you like it.  
> \- Laura xx

He walked with a slight uncertainty as he got out of the porche and approached the all too familiar restaurant. In a way it felt good to return, but it always brought back all the old memories, the good as well as the bad.

“Good evening Mr. Tomlinson, how can I help you sir?” A bubbly looking hostess asked as he stepped through the door. She looked familiar… Kirsty perhaps? Yes Kirsty.

“Please Kirsty, I told you last time, call me Harry. And I made a reservation, table for two under Tomlinson. I asked the manager if it could be the table at the back next to the window.”

Kirsty suddenly realized what the date was, and gave Harry a look of sympathy. He always came and sat at the back of the restaurant on the November 20th, and ordered two drinks.

“Of course Mr. To… Harry. Please follow me and I’ll show you to your table, right this way.”

He didn’t need showing his way to the table, he’d been here every year for the last 15 and Kirsty knew that, all of the staff knew that. But it was just protocol he guessed.

“Here we are Harry, can I get you a drink?”

“Yes, two glasses of Armand de Brignac would be lovely.” He smiled weakly.

“Brut Gold? Rosé? Or Blanc de Blancs?”

“Rosé please.”

Kirsty turned and walked away, but he’d seen the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Harry used to cry, he still did at times, but not today; today was special, a time to remember and be as happy as possible. He’d had almost 17 years to cry.

Another waitress brought the two drinks over, and casted him a strange look when she saw he was sat alone. She was obviously new. She quickly walked away, obviously not recognizing him and thinking he was some sort of lunatic.

“It’s been a good year Lou.” Harry whispered softly. “I mean, it’s been hard I guess, but then it’s always hard you know? But it’s been good, better.” He smiled. “Haley and Millie are so grown up now, they’re going to be 18 soon, and Jamie looks more and more like you every day… It’s hard to believe our little boy is turning 23 in January. I really wish you were here to see it you know? I guess you’re looking after us from where you are now though.”

He paused for a moment, taking a sip of his drink.

“I think half of the people in here think I’m crazy, sat here with two drinks talking to myself… I suppose I’m allowed to have one night of craziness though. I stayed strong for them… If it wasn’t for the kids and the other boys I expect I would have joined you by now, but they kept me here. Are you happy where you are Louis?”

No, he wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to bring up all the sour memories from back then.

“I ordered your favourite drink, the one you always told me off for buying for you because it’s £500 a bottle? You always did have an expensive taste… **_Armand de Brignac_** or **_Ace of Spades_**. That always fascinated you didn’t it? That when we looked into it your favourite drink was called the ace of spades, the card that represents the hidden truth behind all illusions... Hidden truths and illusions always were our specialty to begin with weren’t they?” Harry said thoughtfully.

“You’re probably wondering why I haven’t ordered any food… I haven’t been honest with the boys, but I know I can tell you the truth. I can’t eat very well anymore, I haven’t really been able to since the- the- well you know. I’m healthy and all so don’t worry, just I haven’t been able to keep much down. It’s not as bad as it was, all the boys think I’m better now and over it. But I’m not. How could I ever get over something like that?”

“Mr. Tomlinson? Would you like to order anything?”

Clearly this girl was also new, as the older staff knew he didn’t eat when he sat at this table, not anymore.

“No, I’m fine thank you Megan.” He answered politely, reading the young girl’s name tag.

He waited as she walked away again.

“That never gets old. Whenever people call me “Harry Tomlinson” my heart still does that little flutter in my chest. My Mum used to say that maybe it would be best to change my name back, as it was too much of a reminder of us when I was trying to recover at the beginning. I think they all realize now that that’s just not possible, because my heart always has and always will belong to you. It’s the only thing I have left other than the kids. I know on that last day before you left, you said you were sorry for leaving me to look after them on my own and you made me promise to look after them, and to carry on living my life and to not let this affect them. It was hard bringing up two 1 year olds and a 7 year old on my own, but I was never really alone Lou, cause the boys were there and I know you were too weren’t you? I’m so thankful that you gave me our little angels, I don’t know what I would have done without them.”

Harry couldn’t hold it in anymore and he started sobbing quietly. He hadn’t thought back to that first year without his Husband for ages, and with good reason. It had been a dark time for him, Louis had been his strength and without him Harry was nothing. He’d tried to kill himself twice, but he had a reality check at some point and realized he had to keep going and look after the three children Louis had left him. As Jamie grew up it became obvious just how many of his father’s traits he’d inherited. The soft feathery hair and the blue eyes. Even Louis’ personality seemed to be mirrored in his son, and it was as if Louis was still here when Harry looked into Jamie’s eyes. Jamie was also the only one of his kids who remembered his other Dad, he’d been seven at the time so he was old enough to understand.

Thinking about his son made Harry smile with pride, and he was sure Louis was proud of him as well. Jamie and Harry had co-founded the new campaign for equality. It had started as just a campaign for gay rights, but with the two famous Tomlinson’s and the rest of the group of men once known as One Direction, it had quickly progressed into so much more. The Louis foundation was now the main face of total human equality. It was amazing how far things had progressed since the days that Harry and Louis had had to hide their relationship, there was hardly a fight left now, and there was never a fuss when celebrities “came out” as it used to be called. Now there was no “normal” as nothing was really abnormal.

He still remembers the day that they came out to the world. The band had just released their 5th album, and Louis had proposed and they were engaged. Modest! Management, despite their ruthless control over the years, did have limits, and apparently the two boys being engaged was one of them, and they drew up a coming out contract for them. Sure it had caused them difficulty, but they had on the whole been happy for them. If Modest agreeing was a relief, then there was no way of describing how good it felt that their fans accepted them.

“I guess what I’ve really been wanting to tell you is that we’re getting back together.” Harry whispered. “Now that our three, as well as Liam and Zayn’s, and Niall’s kids are all hitting the 18+ mark, we feel it’s time for a reunion. It won’t really be One Direction without you, but I think I’m ready to sing again. I even wrote a song for you… half of the songs on the new album are going to be about you actually, and the first concert will be on Christmas Eve, you’re 50th birthday.” It felt strange saying it out loud, that they’d gotten that far into their lives. “God, 50. We’re all getting so old aren’t we? What happened? Seems like just yesterday that we were stood on that stage together at bootcamp and you jumped into my arms, and yet it also seems like a lifetime ago. I still love you just as much as I did then though, our story was like one of those fairytales at first remember? Love at first site and all that, even if it was in the toilet; it was romantic because you were there.” Harry stopped momentarily to wipe his eyes. “Oops and Hi…” He muttered.

“Erm, Harry? Sorry to interrupt you, but your son is here.” He looked up to see Heather, one of the original waitresses who had first served them here. She was the head manageress now.

“Did he say what he wanted Heather?”

“No, he just said that Haley said to come and get you. Shall I show him in?”

“Yes please love.”

He waited patiently as Heather came back in with Jamie in toe, pulling the now 6ft lad by the sleeve. She was like a mother to him.

“Hey Dad. Haley said to come and get you, she’s really paranoid about tomorrow and doesn’t want anyone having late nights.” He sighed.

“That’s alright mate, I’ll just finish off here alright? And then we can go.”

“Were you talking to Dad?”

“Yeah…” Harry sighed.

“I miss him, he would have liked to be there tomorrow I think, I wish he was here.”

“He would have loved it. And I know you do, but he’ll be watching. I’m so proud of you, and I know he is too, he’d be happy that you’re happy.”

Jamie hugged his dad then, and Harry pulled his son into his chest and stroked his head soothingly. They stayed like that for a minute or so, before pulling away. Now that he was all grown-up it was rare to get moments like that with his son.

“I’ll be outside in a minute, go and get a drink, Heather might give you one on the house if you ask nicely.”

“Okay, see you in a bit Dad.”

Harry waited for Jamie to walk off back around the corner before finishing his conversation with Louis.

“You probably already know, but he’s getting married tomorrow. You know Ed’s little girl, Katie, who he was best friends with when they were little? They got engaged about 9 months ago and tomorrows the day. It was quite funny at first actually, Ed gave him the whole protective father act, properly scared the shit out of him as well. But Ed’s practically his father as well, he’s helped loads even when you were still here. You have no idea how nervous I am about giving a speech, we agreed you’d be the one to do those things remember?”

It had always been their agreement, that Harry would go to the parent’s evenings and walk the two girls down the aisle, and Louis would make all the speeches at weddings.

“I’ll be 48 soon… they say they average is about 100 now, so I’m almost half way there. I promised you I wouldn’t leave early, so I’m not, I just hope the next 50 years or whatever can go quickly… But at the same time I want to see our grandkids growing up, and their kids if I get the chance. Niall’s already got a grandson, Daniel, he holds him a lot better than he used to with Theo. Zayn and Liam’s daughter just got engaged to Eleanor’s son, Travis. Strange isn’t it? She managed to live a normal life after all the shit our management put her through. Niall and Holly are still going strong. It’s been hard for him, looking after Holly at the same time as looking after Caitlin and Kian, but he’s coping. I hope for his benefit that we don’t lose her to that stupid disease as well, he’ll be devastated. Cancer is such a bitch.” He sighed sadly.

“Well I need to get going, Jamie’s not that stressed about tomorrow, but for some reason that he can’t remember he asked Haley to be the wedding planner and she is ruthless. I have no idea how she is so organized, she certainly didn’t pick it up from either of us.”

He ran his thumb over the plaque on the wall.

_In loving memory of Louis William Tomlinson,_   
_Beloved Husband, Father, Son, Brother and Idol,_   
_who will be dearly missed by all._   
_24.12.1991 – 16.12.2024_

He gently traced over Louis’ name as he always did. At first they had all been skeptically about having it there, but Harry knew it was right. It had been their table for 14 years since their very first date, right up until he’d taken him there in his wheelchair. It was still their table now.

“I’ll be back next year okay Lou? I miss you so much babe, everyone does. The world hasn’t forgotten, no one ever will. You should see all the tweets you get from the fans still. They shut your account but nobody took your old username, if you search it it’s still full of millions of people talking to you. I know people always said I was the most popular member in the band, but I can tell you now that you were the one holding us all together and cheering us up all the time. It was impossible for someone to not love you.” He said affectionately. Perhaps Harry was guilty of a few of those tweets to Louis. “I’m just rambling now aren’t I? It’s hard, saying goodbye to you every year. I hate the fact that I won’t be back for another 365 days, but I suppose every week got a little too much didn’t it? But back then I needed to feel connected in some way. Now I know that I will always be connected to you, because you own my heart, you took it with you didn’t you?”

He was crying again, but he also had the biggest smile on his lips.

“I’d give anything to just be able to hold you again, to kiss you, to feel you. But I know you’re always here with me, so I can wait another 50 years if need be, it will be worth the wait Louis.”

He stood up from his chair and picked up his drink.

“And until next year, happy anniversary Boobear.” Harry held up his glass as if making a toast to the empty table, and gently knocked it against Louis’ untouched one, before finishing the champagne.

“I love you angel, and I’ll see you soon I promise.”

And with that, Harry went and found Jamie, and then father and son decided to walk home, arranging for someone to pick up their cars.

“Did you tell him?”

Harry just nodded, knowing what his son meant.

“Do you think he approves?”

“In what? Katie? Of course he does, he absolutely adored that little girl when you were little, and we’re her godfathers. Trust me, he definitely approves.”

And Harry was right. A tear fell from one of Louis’ eyes as he watched two of his loved ones walk away, knowing that they were okay and that he could look forward to the next 50 years of watching his Hazza look after their growing family.

 


End file.
